Saturday, July 28, 2007

Day 60

I woke up today with a very sore stomach this morning so I skipped the fry up with the lads and opted for a Guatemalan coffee and blueberry scone from Starbucks instead. Then I hit the pool for a while to soak up some rays and have a few dips.

After about 45 minutes though, it was way too hot so I went back to the room to chill. The lads were all playing poker and seemed like they weren't going to be moving for a while.

Eventually Paulo appeared back in the room looking a bit haggard and worse for wear. We hung out in the room until we were both bored senseless. Downstairs, we checked on the lads - still playing poker. We decided to go for a bit of a stroll and look for an internet cafe as we had to print the voucher for our next car.

The heat was unbelievable. We were literally melting walking down the Strip. The only bit of breeze that was blowing was from the dudes who stand at every corner and hand out flyers for strip joints. They do this really annoying thing where they smack them together so that you look over at them, then they fan them in front of you or shove them in your face.

We finally made it to the internet cafe and printed the voucher. It was a seriously dodgy place. Apparently, these dudes stand on the corner outside of it and stop couples walking down the street. If they are married, about to be or want to be they wisk them inside and promise them large discounts on hotels and tickets to free shows. That is if they can survive the hours of rhubarb they have to go through. The crowd are actually trying to sell time shares but, of
course, they don't say that up front. I heard a woman talking to two separate couples and I couldn't understand how the couples didn't have a clue about what was going on. Anyway, I digress...

We went back outside into the oven and just couldn't take the heat so we ducked into the first place we saw - the Miracle Mile Shops in front of Planet Hollywood casino. I think the place stretches in a U-shape for a mile with shops on both sides the entire way around. We stopped in Sbarro for some pizza to keep us going. We walked the entire stretch, looking in several shops and stopping in the magic shop which was interesting.

Back outside we walked down the strip to the Mirage to meet the lads. They ducked into the all-you-can-eat buffet while Paulo and I went for a drink in Revolution.

The lads joined us and we would have stayed - the tunes were good. But at 7:00pm on a Saturday evening we were the only ones there!

We left Revolution and walked down the Strip to O'Sheas casino. Yes, it is an Irish place but that is not why we went there. We had tickets to a show that Aido scored for only 35 bucks each. A comedian named Vinnie Favorito (note - may not be his real name) was doing a show at 9:30. The tickets Aido got were even VIP so we sat center stage in the second row. Prime targets.

When you go to see Vinnie, he does a few lines and a couple of bits at the beginning. Then he spends 70 minutes just ripping the piss out of nearly every single person in the audience. He asks your name and then just starts on you. And he is good. Really funny and really witty and so fucking quick with the remarks. The thing is that you feel under pressure and either give a really stupid answer or a totally honest one. Either way, he catches you out and then he is off. I said that I didn't know why I moved to Ireland when he asked me. When of course I know exactly why I did. He took the piss out of some Mexicans in the front row and a black guy in our row for the entire show. And he went bananas when he got some woman in our row to admit that she was married with a kid but the guy sitting next to her was not her husband! He really gave her a seriously hard time. So, if you can check your ego and self consciousness at the door then it is a great show. Otherwise, you are going to be insulted at some point, get pissed off and possibly walk out. Although no one did. As he said at the the end, "We live in a fucked up world and this is a chance to get people from all walks of life together in one room, find their weaknesses and exploit them!" Pure comic genius.

We went back down to the casino after the show, watched Aido drop 50 bucks on the craps table and lose it all in only three rolls of the dice. That kind of put a lid on the gambling for the night.

We walked back up the Strip to Mandalay Bay again and caught some more of Stoned Immaculate. Then we retired to the Sports Book for a beer and some chats before heading back to Luxor for a bite in the cafe and a night cap. Then we all pushed off to bed. We were pretty tired and I, for one, had had enough of Vegas.

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